Falling

A piece I wrote last year during National Poetry Writers Month




I fell down
But knew I was falling
And did nothing to stop myself
I hit the ground
And looked around
No one saw me
But the shame
Was still there

I had been warned
Knew the outcome
But dove in
Head first
Without regret
That is
Until I fell

Now I’ve fallen
Know that it’s my
Didn’t even pretend
To fight the feeling
Just went with it
And fell
Flat on my ass
And was too scared
To admit
What I had done
Even when
I was told
NO!

Acknowledged my fall
Yet again
But this time
I pledged
That if I got up
That if I was allowed to get up
I would do
All I could
To ensure
That I stood
On solid ground
No matter what
Next time
Because I knew
There would be a
Next time.

We fall down


And now
I’m scared
That I don’t have
What it takes
What it requires
To NOT fall
Again.

And now
I’m scared
That I’m going
To go back
On what I said
And cause a chasm
Between He and I
That is greater
And more permanent
Than any
That has come
Before

I want a
Do over
So I can
Do it over
The “right” way
So that I can make
The pledge
And have no worries
Or concerns
About
Falling – again.
Because
I would have
Satisfied
The urge
The desire
The cravings
That led
To
My fall.
Or so I tell myself.

I know I can do this
Right?
I know that I won’t fail
Right?
I know that I won’t fall – again
Right?
I’m scared, again.
Father…be with me


© April 6, 2014

Dejanique, "The Coco Poetess"

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