So, in the past few days, we’ve learned of not one, but two “Celebrities” who took their own life because for them, even with all they seemed to have, life was just too much.
As someone who is a “functional” Clinical Depressive, (due to the traumas in my past), these two recent stories hit really close to home for me. You see, I was them at a point in my life. Suicide was a conscious thought for me, and I came THIS close to ending it…had the pills and a letter prepared.
Although I don’t know their particular situation, I can understand the PAIN and HOPELESSNESS that they must have felt, to make the decision that the only way to NOT hurt anymore was to end it all. Feeling as if you have NO way out…that no matter WHAT you do, life won’t get better…and for me, a follower of Yeshua, not even talking to him/praying seemed to be enough.
Mental Health in this country isn’t talked about, and in the Black community – especially the CARIBBEAN COMMUNITY – it’s Taboo. We’ve proven in so many other instances, that NOT talking about it, doesn’t make it better…it doesn’t just disappear. Instead, folks suffer in silence and if they speak on it, they’re told that everything will be ok…cheer up…it will get better. For whatever reason, seeking help – whether it be meds or seeing a therapist – is somehow viewed as being weak, so it’s never really looked at as an option.
I don’t know if Kate or Anthony had ever been seen professionally…whether they had been officially diagnosed…whether they were seeking/in treatment. What I do know is that they felt like their only option, to make the pain, sadness, darkness disappear was for them to leave this Earth. The love of their family and friends wasn’t enough to keep them here…wasn’t enough for them to want to fight, just one more day…wasn’t enough for them to want to hold on and ‘fight’…or ‘cheer up’.
They were tired…tired of the façade that didn’t match their reality…tired of fighting…tired of cheering up…tired of not knowing/understanding why life was the way it was, especially in light of ‘all they had’. And knowing that they felt that way, breaks my heart…because I understand…because I’ve been there – and still go there from time-to-time.
I don’t share this for sympathy, but to try and help folks understand just how hopeless folks can feel for them to want to end it all. Maybe this will lead us to talk about Mental Health/Illness more…maybe it will help us understand that folks aren’t ‘looking for attention’ or ‘playing around’. Folks are hurting out there and many of us feel like we have nowhere to go…no one to understand. Although there’s the National Suicide Prevention Hotline, (800.273.8255, available 24 hours/daily), for folks who feel like suicide is their only option, sometimes being able to lean on and/or talk to those who are near-and-dear to them could be the turning point in their decision. I know that a ‘random’ phone call, in the middle of the night, from my Father was what took me off the ledge.
Keep an eye on your family and friends – even the ‘STRONG’ ones, (ESPECIALLY the ‘STRONG’ ones). It’s ok to reach out and ask them – ‘How Are You Doing Today?’ – and then LISTEN!
