Falling
A piece I wrote last year during National Poetry Writers Month
I
fell down
But
knew I was falling
And
did nothing to stop myself
I
hit the ground
And
looked around
No
one saw me
But
the shame
Was
still there
I
had been warned
Knew
the outcome
But
dove in
Head
first
Without
regret
That
is
Until
I fell
Now
I’ve fallen
Know
that it’s my
Didn’t
even pretend
To
fight the feeling
Just
went with it
And
fell
Flat
on my ass
And
was too scared
To
admit
What
I had done
Even
when
I
was told
NO!
Acknowledged
my fall
Yet
again
But
this time
I
pledged
That
if I got up
That
if I was allowed to get up
I
would do
All
I could
To
ensure
That
I stood
On
solid ground
No
matter what
Next
time
Because
I knew
There
would be a
Next
time.
And
now
I’m
scared
That
I don’t have
What
it takes
What
it requires
To
NOT fall
Again.
And
now
I’m
scared
That
I’m going
To
go back
On
what I said
And
cause a chasm
Between
He and I
That
is greater
And
more permanent
Than
any
That
has come
Before
I
want a
Do
over
So
I can
Do
it over
The
“right” way
So
that I can make
The
pledge
And
have no worries
Or
concerns
About
Falling
– again.
Because
I
would have
Satisfied
The
urge
The
desire
The
cravings
That
led
To
My
fall.
Or
so I tell myself.
I
know I can do this
Right?
I
know that I won’t fail
Right?
I
know that I won’t fall – again
Right?
I’m
scared, again.
Father…be
with me
©
April 6, 2014
Dejanique,
"The Coco Poetess"
